Happy Story Fun Time

Of the times he spent frolicking nakedly with Tom Selleck and his mustache.

With comb in hand, he stood up. “This 'stache is your longing, and…”

no one else shall have it!" And with that he pulls out a razor and

cuts one side of the mustache off. With a yell, he holds the severed piece in the air and says:

“Behold, I have killed the 'stache!” He then tosses the prize to Slowhand, who

…drops it like a hot potato. “Mustaches aren’t my thing.” She turns to Fillet and says:

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“Roy! Roy is my thing! Flames are my thing! But never a mustache!” Unsure of what to do, Fillet

hollers: “Bust out the Nair!” Fumbling through his pockets, he pulls out a…

another razor and

…starts slicing the potato. Horrified at the sight, Wicca…

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screams, “Stop slicing my potato!” Then she runs into the pantry and

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Pulls out a vile of Bacon Bits, and starts flinging them everywhere. “Be gone demon!” she screams, when suddenly…

with a puff of stinky bacon scented smoke, out pops

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Dragoon. “Where in the hell have you been?!” everyone screams.

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“Well, I was wasting away again in Margaritaville, searching for my lost shaker of salt”, Dragoon says. "When all of a sudden, I got this urge to…

“take a tortoise for a rodeo ride. I didn’t win a belt, but they gave me a…”

ticket to TAN, so here I am! Now, tell me…

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“Where’s my sammich?” He looks around and…

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bypassing the Tanettes, he stares intently at Chef Cody wearing nothing but an apron and says…

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“You know how I like my crusts!” He dropped a wink and turned to…