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Some Little Funnies


#1402

I have no idea but it was coming in hot. :car:


#1403

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

February 23, 2018

If we’re going to make the play-offs, we’ve got to win.

  • NHL hockey goalie Peter Budaj

#1404

t-what-did-the-traffic-light-say


#1405

Such modest traffic lights. Not unlike those flashers.


#1406

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#1407

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#1408

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

February 28, 2018

WINTER IS THE ONLY TIME TO GO ICE FISHING

  • headline, “Girl in the Woods” syndicated series

#1409

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 2, 2018

We can’t rely on sun and wind power because we need electricity at night, too, and when the wind is not blowing.

  • L. Simon Laszlo, undersecretary for cultural affairs in the Ministry of Human Resources, Hungary

#1410

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 3, 2018

After the Show Began
Do Not Shouting Loudly
Please…
If Necessary,
Please Pass Go.

  • sign at a Beijing movie theater

#1411

Can I still collect $200?

In case you don’t get the reference

Spoiler

Monopoly


#1412

funny-new-year-resolutions-meme-pictures_3


#1413

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 11, 2018

The snow is melting faster because of daylight savings time. There is the same amount of sunlight, but the extra hour of afternoon sun is warmer than the hour of morning sun. Go back to standard time and the melting will slow down and less flooding. Problem solved.

  • letter to the editor, The Des Moines (Iowa) Register

#1414

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 12, 2018

Attorney: If you would look at exhibit twelve, please, for a second, did you receive this letter on or about February 21st?
Defendant: I believe so, yes.
Attorney: Did you review it?
Defendant: Yes.
Attorney: Did you respond to it?
Defendant: No.
Attorney: Did you purposely not respond to it?
Defendant: I did not respond to it.
Attorney: That was a conscience decision on your part?
Defendant: Yes, I was conscious at the time.

  • from court transcripts

#1415

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 13, 2018

Her superbly-formed eyes of grey-blue, with lightly-arched eyebrows and long lashes of that brownish tint, which only the lightly-tinted skin of an Arctic seal exhibits, looked divine.

  • Amanda McKittrick Ros (Considered by many to be the worst novelist ever) in her book, Delina Delaney

#1416

Lol, that was a very non-descriptive description…


#1417

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 16, 2018

  • Lois, the dohing mother who xan’t figuro out why bor boby ron Koops trying to kill hor.
  • Chris, tho boofy 13-year-old who woufdn’t hurt a piy, unloss if londed on his hot dog.
  • stewio, unloss it londed on his hot dog.
  • And Brion, the rorcanc dog with a wit as dry as mortinis ho drinks.

cover copy on a bootleg DVD of Family Guy, Vietnam

(this was incredibly difficult to type… had to keep checking the spelling…)


#1418

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 17, 2018

So the corned beef comes from corn-fed cows, right?

  • employee at a St. Patrick’s Day company luncheon

#1419

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#1420

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 21, 2018

Customer: Excuse me, do you have anything from Rent?
Sales Clerk: We only sell the items, ma’am.
Customer: No, from the musical Rent?
Sales Clerk: No one’s gonna rent you any tickets to a musical, ma’am.

  • at a Broadway memorabilia shop in New York City

#1421

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

March 22, 2018

Dinners

  • Spaghetti & Meatballs
  • Eggplant Parm 2/ Spagetti
  • Veal Parm 2/ Speghetti
  • Sausage & Speagehetti

on a pub menu, Allentown, Pennsylvania