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Some Little Funnies


#1602

image


#1603

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 3, 2019

What if we spelled ‘people’ like this: “peepole”. that would be funny i think.

  • tweet by Kim Kardashian

#1604

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 4, 2019

Announcer: If they didn’t get it, they missed it by just inches — maybe even centimeters.
John Madden: Maybe even cubic centimeters.
Announcer: Nope, I don’t think you’d use that here, John.
Madden: I really think cubic centimeters comes into play here.


#1605

Millimeters! :stuck_out_tongue:


#1606

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 12, 2019

Police Officer: Did you realize that you were speeding?
Driver: I wasn’t speeding, I just got a haircut and it makes me look fast.


#1607

c1589b340e19e62c8a6ca462bf76b394--gary-larson-funny-comics


#1608

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 15, 2019

I think we all feel it’s really important to perform contemporary music while the performers are alive…

  • conductor of the South Bend (Indiana) Chamber Singers

#1609

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 16, 2019

The world’s oldest person has died again.

  • on WCBS Newsradio 880 (New York)

#1610

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 17, 2019

Check rattle noise like 2 skeletons making out on a tin roof during a hail storm using an tin can for a condom.

  • on a car service form, Toronto, Canada

#1611


#1612

Choosy people choose gif.


#1613

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 22, 2019

FREE
Wow! Child’s Battery-Powered Vehicle with EVERY PRE-PAID FUNERAL Arranged This Month!

  • sign in window of James Harper funeral directors, Kent, England

#1614

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 27, 2019

MEDIA LAB

S - Raise you hand for help
M - Stay on proper websites
A - Handle elections carefully
R - Turn off equipment, clean area
T - Log out of your account


#1615

medical-healthcare-doctors-doctor_s_office-patients-prostate_exam-mbcn2561_low


#1616

Pretty funny thread here, click to read


#1617

My friend fixed this one:

S - Stay on proper websites
M - Manage elections carefully
A - Always log out of your account
R - Raise your hand for help
T - Turn off equipment, clean area


#1618

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 30, 2019

Have you ever been in an accident that resulted in your death?

:stop_button: YES
:stop_button: NO


#1619

What? Ghosts can’t answer?

:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#1620

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

January 31 & February 1, 2019

Telemarketer (trying to get customer to switch to his Internet provider): We can give you faster Internet speed.
Customer: Your speed is ten megabits per second, just like mine.
Telemarketer: Yes, but it isn’t the same ten Mbps as yours!
Customer: What? Ten Mbps is ten Mbps. Let’s say I’m driving at sixty miles an hour. My brother is in his own car, also driving at sixty miles an hour and you’re telling me it’s not the same speed?
Telemarketer: Yes, but let’s say you have a Toyota and he has a BMW.
Customer: Okay, but we both are driving at sixty miles an hour. Isn’t that the same sixty miles an hour?
Telemarketer: But who will arrive home faster?
Customer: We’ll arrive at exactly the same time.
Telemarketer: Won’t the BMW arrive before the Toyota?
Customer: Not if we both travel at sixty miles per hour.
Telemarketer: Isn’t the BMW’s speed higher than the Toyota’s because the vehicle is better?
Customer: What? The speed is sixty miles per hour. Sixty miles per hour is sixty miles per hour!
Telemarketer: I give up. Just contact us when you get your math straight.


#1621

365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

February 3, 2019

Damn… the NFL been around longer than our government. We’ve had 48 Super Bowls and only 44 presidents. I didn’t know that.

  • in a football fan’s tweet