365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 4, 2019
I dislike collecting, but when I buy shoes, I buy twenty pairs so I can have them in all my houses, and when I buy a T-shirt, I buy eighty.
- designer Philippe Starck
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 10, 2019
Fighter pilot: Theyāre all over me!
Subtitle on screen: He is in my behind!
- from the bootleg copy of Star Wars: Episode III ā Revenge of the Sith
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 11, 2019
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT
- on the bottle top of a flavored milk drink (UK)
3 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 12, 2019
Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Boothās career.
- in an eighth-grade essay
3 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 15, 2019
IF YOU NEED TO SHOE,
PLEASE SEND SHOES
TO THE SHOE IN.
instructions found at a hotel, Wuhan, China
2 Likes
I believe the old woman who lived in a shoe made reservations there.
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 17, 2019
CAUTION:
FIRE IS HOT
- sign around outdoor restaurant fire pit
4 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 19, 2019
Iām the oldest Iāve ever been, right now.
- MMA fighter and UFC Champion Tim Sylvia
3 Likes
4 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 21, 2019
Eleven National City police officers were caught cheating on a promotion exam. However, no disciplinary action was taken against them, because they had not been specifically instructed not to cheat.
- from the Los Angeles Times
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 23, 2019
ANOTHER BROOM SNAPPED IN HALF IN DERBYSHIRE VILLAGE
- headline, Derbyshire Times (UK)
2 Likes
Someone doesnāt like witches. 
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 24, 2019
Caprito Ai Forno ā Piece from leg of the female kid baked in the oven. Served with broccoli garlic and oil and potatoes ashamed ashamed po.
- menu item, Brazil
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 26, 2019
Woman: I want to report a missing person. I havenāt been out to check on him for five hours, but I went outsideā¦ and heās gone.
999 (British 911) operator: Whoās gone?
Woman: My snowman. I thought that with it being icy and there not being anybody about, heād be safe.
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
February 27, 2019
Say āeye yam stew peedā 4 times fast yāall gotta try this lol somebody jus got me
- tweet by basketball player Dwight Howard
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
March 7, 2019
The Chase host Bradley Walsh: Asteroid 4238 Audrey is named after which Hollywood actress?
Contestant: Kim Basinger.
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
March 12, 2019
MAN WITHOUT ARMS DENIED HOUSING LOAN DUE TO INABILITY TO PROVIDE FINGERPRINTS
- headline, China News website
3 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
March 16, 2019
Caller: A deer just swam across the river behind my house.
911 operator: Andā¦?
Caller: Well, Iām worried it might be cold.
3 Likes
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
March 19, 2019
FOR SALE
2005 S2000 Convertible
6-Speed, Faster than a porch
- used car ad
3 Likes