365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
May 23, 2019
- Education: Applied to Harvard University
- Qualifications: Twin sister has accounting degree
items on resumes
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Twins: Pick a side. 
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
May 27, 2019
E.D.I.M.G.I.A.F.A.D.
Every Day In Middle Georgia Is Armed Forces Appreciation Day!
- on a banner, Georgia
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
May 29, 2019
Tech Support: Now type “X 3” in the extra settings field…
Customer: I can’t find the X.
Tech Support: Okay, without typing anything, just look at your keyboard and tell me what key you’re looking at so I can guide you from there.
Customer: I just typed H.
Tech Support: No, don’t type anything just yet – so delete that H. Okay, now let’s find the X.
Customer: I just typed an N.
Tech Support: Delete the N – you’re not supposed to type anything just yet.
(A few letters later…)
Tech Support: Please stop typing letters. If you type one more thing without me saying “Press that key,” I will hang up immediately. Now, don’t touch anything, just look and tell me what key you are looking at.
Customer: Okay. I typed B, like you said.
Tech Support: I’m hanging up now.
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Mother Goose and Grimm
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
June 8, 2019
I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.
- baseball player John Kruk
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
June 10, 2019
Brexit means Brexit and we’re going to make a Titantic success of it.
- British politician Boris Johnson
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
June 14, 2019
AMERICAN FLAG, 60 stars, pole included, $100
- classified ad, Illinois
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
June 26, 2019
I DECLINE THE ENTRANCE OF A VISITOR MADE A TATTOO AND FASHION TATTOO.
IN ADDITION, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM THE WEARING OF THE SWIMSUIT WHICH GIVES OTHER VISITORS UNPLEASANTNESS.
I HAVE YOU LEAVE IT WHEN YOU DO NOT HAVE YOU LOOK AFTER AN ABOVE MATTER. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE ENTRANCE RATE ON THIS OCCASION BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE MONEY BACK.
- sign at a pool, Japan
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
July 10, 2019
He’s the glue that makes everything tick.
- sports analyst Martin Keown
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
July 17, 2019
HANGING YOURSELF COULD BE PAINFUL SO GET A PRO TO DO IT
- headline in a Florida Pennysaver
3 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
July 22, 2019
BBC Radio 2 host Zoe Ball: Name a James Bond theme tune sung by Shirley Bassey.
Caller: Uh… “Dr. Pussy”.
Correct Answer
2 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
July 25, 2019
Dear Deidre,
My mum’s dog attacked our postman. I tried to help him then one thing led to another and now I think I’m pregnant.
- letter to advice columnist, The Sun (UK)
3 Likes
^ How to tell if your friend is secretly a furry.
1 Like