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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

April 29, 2021

A very small crowd here today. I can count the people on one hand. Can’t be more than thirty.

  • sportscaster Michael Abramson

REMINDER: One Hand
:raised_hand_with_fingers_splayed:

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

May 3, 2021

Polish politician Marek Suski: Do you know this person?
Witness: Sorry, but who?
Suski: That woman nicknamed Tsarina.
Witness: Forgive me, but I don’t know any Tsarina. The only tsarina I know was Catherine.
Suski: Catherine… could you give a surname?
Witness: Catherine the Great.
[ Suski writes it down. Another member of the commission starts laughing. ]
Suski: What’s funny about it?

  • during a Polish parliamentary hearing
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image

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

May 7, 2021

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: So it’s possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

  • courtroom testimony
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000-ccc9d2c98a0fdf262d1a104181f03428

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

May 17, 2021

Cable company support: Anything else I can help you with today?
Caller: Oh, yes! I do have a question. There are these numbers on my cable box that keep changing. What are they? Like, right now, it says 5-4-7.
Cable company support: Ma’am, that’s the time.

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You have to be a certain age to understand this one:

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You can take off your hat and let your hair down! Wow what a concept.

Mark Gosdin

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Don’t wanna, you know, block up that scenery…

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I know it’s a joke, but you forgot Kanna in that list…

tumblr_e85ae40aa6e28cfb9b146dccfea61b42_9c9ec787_640

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:thinking::face_with_monocle::skull:

Edit: those who understand this reference may in fact be people of questionable character & morale.

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