365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
April 29, 2021
A very small crowd here today. I can count the people on one hand. Can’t be more than thirty.
- sportscaster Michael Abramson
REMINDER: One Hand—
5 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
May 3, 2021
Polish politician Marek Suski: Do you know this person?
Witness: Sorry, but who?
Suski: That woman nicknamed Tsarina.
Witness: Forgive me, but I don’t know any Tsarina. The only tsarina I know was Catherine.
Suski: Catherine… could you give a surname?
Witness: Catherine the Great.
[ Suski writes it down. Another member of the commission starts laughing. ]
Suski: What’s funny about it?
- during a Polish parliamentary hearing
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
May 7, 2021
Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: So it’s possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Doctor: No.
Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Doctor: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
- courtroom testimony
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
May 17, 2021
Cable company support: Anything else I can help you with today?
Caller: Oh, yes! I do have a question. There are these numbers on my cable box that keep changing. What are they? Like, right now, it says 5-4-7.
Cable company support: Ma’am, that’s the time.
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You can take off your hat and let your hair down! Wow what a concept.
Mark Gosdin
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Don’t wanna, you know, block up that scenery…
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I know it’s a joke, but you forgot Kanna in that list…
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