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Some Little Funnies

000-6f81955a400d4516

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senior-wedding-registry-card-37

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 4, 2019

Check your panties! About one hundred seventy-five thousand rice — uh, I think that was supposed to be pantries.

  • newscaster, NBC12, Richmond, VA
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One dozen panties = one rice. Don’t these guys know anything???

:crazy_face:

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Speaking of panties, this really cracked me up!!

November 4, 2019 / SoraNews24

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 10, 2019

This is an occupied building, it’s currently vacant, and that’s not acceptable.

  • San Diego city councilman Todd Gloria speaking in favor of plans for a new restaurant
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 12, 2019

Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference… but not until I get the table though.

  • singer Kanye West in a tweet
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 13, 2019

CAUTION
Fast-Moving Traffic
Proceed Slowly

  • road sign in Maryland
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 15, 2019

With the meal, we recommend you try our green wine to the pressure or our pleasant and ever-refreshing bleeding.

  • on a menu, Portugal
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 18, 2019

I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.

  • on a job application
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000-scentedcandles-fall

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 20, 2019

Tech Support: Do you have a valid backup?
Customer: Yes, of course.
Tech Support: When you came this morning, was anything printed out on the printer?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: And what did it say?
Customer: Just like it says every day.
Tech Support: Would you mind reading that off to me.
Customer: “Error XX: Backup Operation Failed.”

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Well that customer will probably be buying a new computer…

:joy:

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Spare him his life from this Nevermore-sity

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Easy Come, Easy Go

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This clip from “Rabbit Seasoning” is absolutely my favorite ever. My friends and I use “Pronoun Trouble” all the time.

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

November 30, 2019

Police officer: Ma’am, you were going too fast.
Driver: I know I was going fast. I was trying to get the snow off my windshield so I could see where I’m going!

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