Some Little Funnies

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 8, 2021

Correction: The candidate likes to spend his free time reading Tolstoy, and not watching Toy Story, as originally reported.

  • correction in the Vega news magazine, Brazil
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 13, 2021

Do I believe in superstitions? No. If you have superstitions, that’s bad luck.

  • middleweight boxer Eric Lucas
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 18, 2021

Politics is everywhere. It’s in your shirt, it’s in your pants.

  • Indian politician Rahul Gandhi
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Another sex scandal???

:rofl:

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 23, 2021

YOUR ROOM IS NON-SMORKING INCLUDING A BATHROOM.
WHEN THE SMORKING IN THE GUEST ROOM AND THE BRINGING IN BY WHICH IT’S FOR TO ASHES WERE CONFIRMED, WE CHARGE THE GUEST ROOM CLEANING PRICE, SO PLEASE CEPT IT.

  • sign in hotel room, Japan
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 26, 2021

Customer: Hi, I’m looking for a book version of my GPS.
Bookseller: Do you mean a road map?
Customer: Maybe.

  • overheard in a bookstore
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 1, 2021

Customer: I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.
Salesperson: I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.
Customer: Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.
Salesperson: But it will still be an English keyboard.
Customer: Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?

  • conversation overheard in an electronics store
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 3, 2021

As we have been predicting, this hurricane is unpredictable.

  • South Carolina governor Henry McMaster
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 8, 2021

—Stone ear stewed native
—Asparagus of burning flesh
—Semi-rotted vegetables meat
—The sizzling rotten salmon

  • menu items, Thailand
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 9, 2021

Customer: Does this laptop have Internet built in?
Salesperson: Well, they all have Wi-Fi built in, so you can access the Internet with a password and such—
Customer: Oh, no. No, I’m specifically looking for a laptop that has Internet built in, so I don’t need Wi-Fi.

  • overheard at a big box electronics store, Nebraska
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 14, 2021

Darwin’s theory is scientifically wrong. Nobody, including our ancestors, in written or oral, said they ever saw an ape turning into a human being.

  • Indian education minister Satyapal Singh
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 30, 2021

Raising her hazel eyes to his, and clearing the weft of truth that had been mixing with the warp of falsehood to form an answer of plausible texture, fringed with different shades of love, she thus began: "My dearest and much beloved, I assure you your remarks have astounded me not a little! … "

  • from “Irene Iddesleigh” by Amanda McKittrick Ros
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