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Some Little Funnies

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 8, 2021

Correction: The candidate likes to spend his free time reading Tolstoy, and not watching Toy Story, as originally reported.

  • correction in the Vega news magazine, Brazil
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 13, 2021

Do I believe in superstitions? No. If you have superstitions, that’s bad luck.

  • middleweight boxer Eric Lucas
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 18, 2021

Politics is everywhere. It’s in your shirt, it’s in your pants.

  • Indian politician Rahul Gandhi
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Another sex scandal???

:rofl:

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 23, 2021

YOUR ROOM IS NON-SMORKING INCLUDING A BATHROOM.
WHEN THE SMORKING IN THE GUEST ROOM AND THE BRINGING IN BY WHICH IT’S FOR TO ASHES WERE CONFIRMED, WE CHARGE THE GUEST ROOM CLEANING PRICE, SO PLEASE CEPT IT.

  • sign in hotel room, Japan
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

August 26, 2021

Customer: Hi, I’m looking for a book version of my GPS.
Bookseller: Do you mean a road map?
Customer: Maybe.

  • overheard in a bookstore
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 1, 2021

Customer: I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.
Salesperson: I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.
Customer: Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.
Salesperson: But it will still be an English keyboard.
Customer: Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?

  • conversation overheard in an electronics store
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 3, 2021

As we have been predicting, this hurricane is unpredictable.

  • South Carolina governor Henry McMaster
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 8, 2021

—Stone ear stewed native
—Asparagus of burning flesh
—Semi-rotted vegetables meat
—The sizzling rotten salmon

  • menu items, Thailand
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 9, 2021

Customer: Does this laptop have Internet built in?
Salesperson: Well, they all have Wi-Fi built in, so you can access the Internet with a password and such—
Customer: Oh, no. No, I’m specifically looking for a laptop that has Internet built in, so I don’t need Wi-Fi.

  • overheard at a big box electronics store, Nebraska
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yy-sub-buzz-9786-1504543506-11

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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar

September 14, 2021

Darwin’s theory is scientifically wrong. Nobody, including our ancestors, in written or oral, said they ever saw an ape turning into a human being.

  • Indian education minister Satyapal Singh
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