The Great Mysteries of the Anime Universe


#1

Mystery #1 - The Strawberry Cake

No matter what the occasion, a holiday, a birthday, and anniversary, everyone in Japan gets the same damn cake. You know what one I’m talking about; the pound cake with the white frosting and strawberries.

Why is this? Don’t they have any other cakes in Japan? Was there some sort of holy war against the chocolate and yellow cake supporters? Is there some sort of embargo?

They have cookies and pies, ice cream and parfaits, but no chocolate cake? This just doesn’t make any sense. Is that strawberry cake really that good?


#2

Mystery # 2 - The Great Parent Shortage

It seems every child in Japan is either an orphan or comes from a single parent home. Why?

Was there some sort of mass catastrophe that killed everyone over 20 who had children? Is some masked killer going around selectively taking out only adults who have offspring? Shouldn’t there be some sort of national emergency over this obvious shortage of legal guardians?

And WTF is up with all the high school students living by themselves? Is this even legal?


#3

dragonrider_cody wrote:

[quote]Mystery #1 - The Strawberry Cake

No matter what the occasion, a holiday, a birthday, and anniversary, everyone in Japan gets the same damn cake. You know what one I’m talking about; the pound cake with the white frosting and strawberries.

Why is this? Don’t they have any other cakes in Japan? Was there some sort of holy war against the chocolate and yellow cake supporters? Is there some sort of embargo?

They have cookies and pies, ice cream and parfaits, but no chocolate cake? This just doesn’t make any sense. Is that strawberry cake really that good?[/quote]

There’s always problems when using absolutes.

http://img20.imageshack.us/i/vvvccl.jpg/http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3964/vvvccl.th.jpg


#4

Yes, but it’s still got Strawberries! So, HA!


#6

Myster # 3 - The Jiggle Factor

What’s up with anime boobs? They seem completely impervious to the laws of gravity and physics. With even the slightest nudge or inhaled breath, they start jiggling and bouncing all over the place. This just isn’t natural! I think anime studios spend half their budget animating any given show on just doing all the jiggle work!

And how can we forget the unnatural sizes! How they hell did any of those girls in Divergence Eve even manage to walk, let alone get into space suits and battle robots? Is all future machinery designed around such ridiculously large breasts? You’d think they would get caught up in the controls!


#7

Mystery # 4 - Only The Good Die Young

Why does it seem that all the quality shows only get one or two short seasons, while all the crap shoots go on forever? Why is it that something truly special like Haibanei Renmei only gets a dozen episodes, while Naruto never seems to end? Why did the cast from Bleach seem to spend about 600 episodes trying to save Rukia, while Vandread was finished up in only 26 shows?

I know money talks and some shows sell more merchandise and DVDs, but still it would be nice to see a really deserving show go on to a long and healthy run.


#8

But that’s what make these shows (Lain, Renmei, Bebop, Hound, etc.) so memorable: because they did end. They came in, told their story, and ended. If all these shows you and I just mentioned did continue on, they’d end up all utter crap because they’d be graping at straws to come up with storylines. That’s why Bleach has those 600+ rescue Rukia episodes, they couldn’t come up with anything else.


#9

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Mystery #1 - The Strawberry Cake

No matter what the occasion, a holiday, a birthday, and anniversary, everyone in Japan gets the same damn cake. You know what one I’m talking about; the pound cake with the white frosting and strawberries.

Why is this? Don’t they have any other cakes in Japan? Was there some sort of holy war against the chocolate and yellow cake supporters? Is there some sort of embargo?

They have cookies and pies, ice cream and parfaits, but no chocolate cake? This just doesn’t make any sense. Is that strawberry cake really that good?[/quote]

Actually, what doesn’t make any sense is that the Japanese get strawberry shortcakes while we get… fruitcake? :blink: :S :ohmy: :frowning:


#10

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Mystery # 2 - The Great Parent Shortage

It seems every child in Japan is either an orphan or comes from a single parent home. Why?

Was there some sort of mass catastrophe that killed everyone over 20 who had children? Is some masked killer going around selectively taking out only adults who have offspring? Shouldn’t there be some sort of national emergency over this obvious shortage of legal guardians?

And WTF is up with all the high school students living by themselves? Is this even legal?[/quote]

The only series where this was used to good effect, IMHO, was Clannad, where Tomoya came from a dysfunctional single parent home but Nagisa came from a loving two parent home.

As for the other series… it also floors me that all these orphan teenagers are RICH! You’d think a creepy relative would have latched onto them to try and steal their money.


#11

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Myster # 3 - The Jiggle Factor

What’s up with anime boobs? They seem completely impervious to the laws of gravity and physics. With even the slightest nudge or inhaled breath, they start jiggling and bouncing all over the place. This just isn’t natural! I think anime studios spend half their budget animating any given show on just doing all the jiggle work!

And how can we forget the unnatural sizes! How they hell did any of those girls in Divergence Eve even manage to walk, let alone get into space suits and battle robots? Is all future machinery designed around such ridiculously large breasts? You’d think they would get caught up in the controls![/quote]

Two words… flubber implants! :woohoo:


#12

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Mystery # 4 - Only The Good Die Young

Why does it seem that all the quality shows only get one or two short seasons, while all the crap shoots go on forever? Why is it that something truly special like Haibanei Renmei only gets a dozen episodes, while Naruto never seems to end? Why did the cast from Bleach seem to spend about 600 episodes trying to save Rukia, while Vandread was finished up in only 26 shows?

I know money talks and some shows sell more merchandise and DVDs, but still it would be nice to see a really deserving show go on to a long and healthy run.[/quote]

I think it’s that the production teams on the good ones know when to bring the story to an end. They realize there’s a point where, if you cross it, you risk becoming a caricature of yourself.


#13

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Myster # 3 - The Jiggle Factor

What’s up with anime boobs? They seem completely impervious to the laws of gravity and physics. With even the slightest nudge or inhaled breath, they start jiggling and bouncing all over the place. This just isn’t natural! I think anime studios spend half their budget animating any given show on just doing all the jiggle work!

And how can we forget the unnatural sizes! How they hell did any of those girls in Divergence Eve even manage to walk, let alone get into space suits and battle robots? Is all future machinery designed around such ridiculously large breasts? You’d think they would get caught up in the controls![/quote]

They’re in space. It helped to hold up the boobs. (But that’s just for space shows…) :blink:


#14

Weren’t the Divergence Eve girls genetically engineered to be some pervert’s idea of perfection? Okay, I added the pervert part, but really, not only was that improbable anatomy it was impractical too.

As for the cake, they even dance around one in the credits of MariaHolic.

In Clannad, witness Kotomi Ichinose, who is yet another young person with no parents in the home (due to their untimely death) yet manages just fine on her own. Do the Japanese not adopt teenagers, or send them to live with relatives when the parents suffer misfortune?


#15

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Mystery # 3 - The Jiggle Factor

What’s up with anime boobs? They seem completely impervious to the laws of gravity and physics. With even the slightest nudge or inhaled breath, they start jiggling and bouncing all over the place. This just isn’t natural! I think anime studios spend half their budget animating any given show on just doing all the jiggle work!

And how can we forget the unnatural sizes! How they hell did any of those girls in Divergence Eve even manage to walk, let alone get into space suits and battle robots? Is all future machinery designed around such ridiculously large breasts? You’d think they would get caught up in the controls![/quote]

No idea Cody. It totally baffles me.

but I like it :silly:


#16

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Mystery #1 - The Strawberry Cake

No matter what the occasion, a holiday, a birthday, and anniversary, everyone in Japan gets the same damn cake. You know what one I’m talking about; the pound cake with the white frosting and strawberries.

Why is this? Don’t they have any other cakes in Japan? Was there some sort of holy war against the chocolate and yellow cake supporters? Is there some sort of embargo?

They have cookies and pies, ice cream and parfaits, but no chocolate cake? This just doesn’t make any sense. Is that strawberry cake really that good?[/quote]


#17

[quote=dragonrider_cody]
Mystery # 3 - The Jiggle Factor

What’s up with anime boobs? They seem completely impervious to the laws of gravity and physics. With even the slightest nudge or inhaled breath, they start jiggling and bouncing all over the place. This just isn’t natural! I think anime studios spend half their budget animating any given show on just doing all the jiggle work!

And how can we forget the unnatural sizes! How they hell did any of those girls in Divergence Eve even manage to walk, let alone get into space suits and battle robots? Is all future machinery designed around such ridiculously large breasts? You’d think they would get caught up in the controls![/quote]


#18

Mystery # 5 - The single Outfit

Why is it that so many anime characters only have one outfit in their closet? I hate clothes shopping and have more then that.


#19

ShawnMerrow wrote:

[quote]Mystery # 5 - The single Outfit

Why is it that so many anime characters only have one outfit in their closet? I hate clothes shopping and have more then that.[/quote]

I always wonder this about Kagome in Inuyasha. You’d think that she’d want to get out of that frickin’ school uniform. Especially when it got cold. Anyone that I’ve ever known who wears a school uniform can’t wait to get out of it and into real clothes. If it was me, jeans and a t-shirt.