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2022-03-25T16:57:00Z
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
March 30, 2022
POLICE: HORSE GIVEN VERBAL WARNING IN RUNAWAY INCIDENT.
- headline, Big Rapids News (Michigan)
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2022-03-30T19:49:00Z
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2022-04-02T10:56:00Z
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
April 7, 2022
House of Games host Richard Osman: In 1931, which American gangster was sentenced to eleven years in prison for tax evasion?
Contestant: Al Cappuccino.
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
April 9 & 10, 2022
Miss Lucinda Armington waited until about seven o’clock in the evening, when she dressed herself in some of her mother’s old clothes, which she had preserved from her death, and quietly left by the side door, thinking that she would not been seen so readily by leaving the house by that direction (it must be remembered that this was the door through which Deacon Bob Stew mostly visited the house of General Armington); she made her way to Victor Juno’s residence, and as she rang the doorbell, Dr. Toy Fancy drove up, and also stepped upon the step, waiting for the door to open… presently a very polite male servant received them, the doctor passing to the patient’s room direct, whilst Miss Armington, in her disguise, was politely invited into the handsome parlor, which embarrassed her very much, causing a singular shudder to come over her system; the waiter noticed that the lady was somewhat nervous, hence he did not speak for a moment, when Miss Lucinda Armington said: “Mr. Victor Juno lives her, does he not live here?”
- from the sci-fi novel The Social War by Simon Mohler Landis, 1872
note: this is one single sentence
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
April 12, 2022
Customer: I’m having a problem with my phone. Can I bring it to your store?
Cell phone store clerk: If you want to bring it to us, we’ll do our best to troubleshoot it. But if it’s physically broken, it’s unlikely we’ll be able to fix it.
Customer: What would you consider to be physically broken?
Clerk: Just something like a broken screen or cracks in the casing, or any kind of moisture damage.
Customer: Moisture damage?
Clerk: Right. We can’t really do much about moisture damage to a phone.
Customer: Would that include rabbit blood?
- actual customer service call
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6 Likes
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
April 21, 2022
Quizmania host Greg Scott: We’re looking for a word that goes in front of “clock”.
Contestant: Grandfather?
Scott: Grandfather clock is already up there, try something else.
Contestant: Panda?
5 Likes
This is my all time favorite story from the Rinkworks Computer Stupidities website:
I was on duty one night at my university’s computing centre. A woman came in with a disk that she wanted to retrieve some files from. The disk was in really bad shape; the metal door was missing, a boot print was on it, and the label had been treated with white-out several times. I suggested she go buy another disk at the vending machine down the hall while I tried to read the data off her disk.
When she returned, I told her that I was able to get most of the information off the old disk. I asked for the new disk so I could save the information.
“Ok,” she said, and started to hand the disk to me. Then she paused and said, “Oh, wait. I forgot to format it.”
With that, she took the disk in both hands and ripped the metal door off.
“There,” she said, pleased with herself.
It took all the self-control I could possibly muster to retain my composure and suggest she buy another disk.
4 Likes
365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
April 26, 2022
He’s 20 years old. That’s what stands out to me. Most people are 21 at that age.
- MLB Network sportscaster Harold Reynolds on Seattle Mariners first-round pick Kyle Lewis
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365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Page-A-Day Calendar
April 28, 2022
Don’t miss the Young Wives’ Victorian Evening next month. It will be a fun night and some of the women will wear clothes.
- in a church bulletin
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Only some wearing clothes? Definitely a fun night then!!!
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