The Outlander Memorial Thread

Oh, dear, god.

Meanwhile in Hueco Mundo

[kazoo music]

Dragonrider_cody is seen skipping aimlessly around the desert.

Ichigo and the gang spot him and mistake him as a dangerous skipping arrancar. “Getsuga Tensho!”

Cody momentarily ceases his skipping to dodge the blast and exclaims, “What the f*ck!? I’m just lost and need directions!”

Ichigo: “Now I know you’re really an arrancar in disguise! Men don’t ask for directions!”

Uryu pushes up his glasses in disdain, “Ichigo, you idiot, it is perfectly acceptable for men to ask questions. That macho stereotype is utterly ridiculous.”

Ichigo: “Who are you calling an idiot! You…”

Rukia: “Here we go again. This isn’t really productive…”

Uryu: “He started it…”

Cody take this moment of comic relief to hide behind a crystal tree and catch his breath. He’s not alone though, also hiding behind the tree is… is…

[kazoo music crescendos and the screen goes black]

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Cody looks down to see LadyofWicca sitting on the ground, cradling a bottle of tequila. She appears to be swaying gently.

“Wicca, what are you doing here?”

Wicca slurs her speech. " I should be asking you that. What the hell are you doing in my kitchen?"

Cody smakes his forehead and sighs. He pulls Wicca up by the arm, “Come on, we better get out of here.”

“What about those guys over there?” she asks. Her head begins to spin. “Maybe I had too much teq—tekilla…”

Cody “Yeah, maybe just a bit. And don’t worry about them, it’s Bleach. They will be arguing for at least 5 episodes. We can be half way to Canada by then if we want.”

Wicca looks confused. “Why are we going to Canada?”

Cody sighs again and shakes his head, “Never mind.” Cody props Wicca up and the two continue their trek across the desert.

Meanwhile, back at the Bus Stop, a figure approaches Himeno. She doesn’t notice till he sits next to her. She looks over surprised to see Cody next to her.

“Oh, hi” she says. “Um, I thought you were in the desert. You know some kind of spiritual journey, find yourself, and all that jazz.”

“Well, I Was. But I was much easier to find then I expected.” A sinister smile starts to spread across his face.

“Oh, well good to see you’re back. How was it?”

Cody’s smile broadens. “Not too bad, but before we get into that, I have a bit of a proposition for you Himeno.” A quiet, deep laugh exits from his lungs.

(A violin plays softly)

Himeno begins to feel a bit nervous, and she could almost swear that his eyes glowed red for just a split second. A cold chill runs down her spine and she shivers slightly.

(Screen goes black.)

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Meanwhile, at a private villa in Mexico…

The newly graduated guys from the Ouran High School Host Club are sitting around, enjoying a six pack of virgins. As darkness falls, the doorbell rings. Since Haruhi didn’t come with them this time, they argue over who should answer it. The doorbell rings again, more insistent this time. Tamaki, losing at rock, paper, scissors, goes to the door and opens it. It’s Dragonrider_Cody and another man.

Tamaki: “It’s about time you got here!”

Cody: “Sorry, I met a friend on the way and got delayed. By the way, can we come in? We can’t stay long. We need to get to Canada.”

Laughing, Tamaki steps back. “Of course, like you need a formal invitation or something.”

Laughing back, Cody steps over the threshold. “Hey guys! This is my friend, Eric.”

Once everyone is introduced, Cody and Eric look at each other and smile. Eyes glowing red and fangs bared, they suddenly…
(fade to black)

Outside, in a locked van, Redshirt1 wakes up with a hangover, his hands and feet tied. As he sits up and looks around in the dark, he can just make out PretearHimeno and LadyOfWicca passed out to either side of him. The van stinks of tequila. He struggles to remember what happened. He then hears terrible noises. Instinct tells him to flee. Should he try to escape? What about the girls? He takes a deep breath and…
(fade to black)

Much later, Dragonrider_Cody comes out to the van. The door is open. Cody looks inside. Redshirt1 is missing. Shrugging his shoulders, he lifts the girls out of the van and takes them inside to later share with the newly made vampires. Holding the girls against him, he begins to have second thoughts. Thus distracted, he doesn’t notice that someone is watching from the nearby bushes…
(fade to black)

Very soon after, LadyOfWicca wakes up half naked in a huge bed. Rubbing her forehead, she mumbles something about a lost shaker of salt. As she glances around, she notices PretearHimeno, still passed out next to her. She is also half naked, and smells sweetly of moon pies.

“Oh sh*t!! Not again!! Don’t tell me…” She hangs her head in her hands.

The bedroom door slowly opens and…
(fade to black)
(creepy dramatic music builds to a crescendo)

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-drinks water, reads above post then spit takes all over computer screen-

Uh… Uh… hey, how about that. That’s rather racy.

.>
<.<

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Back in the states, in a dirty city, there is a sleazy bar in the bad part of town…

The guys from Celestial Being - Rai, Dragoon, Psychopuppet, The Coffee God, ZakuAce - are celebrating a fellow member’s birthday over a couple of pitchers of beer. They are seated at one of the talbes on the side of the bar, watching the game on TV.

The door opens and a group of A-Laws – Fillet, Outlander, Hentai, Mystic, Slickwolfie – walk in. Ignoring Celestial Being, they take a table on the opposite side of the room. Ordering drinks, they begin to play a game of darts…

Upstairs, the owner of the bar readies herself for the evening. Fully recovered from her coma, she is now returning to her secret life as a superhero for justice. Dressed in red leather and masked, Slowhand chooses a whip from her vast collection…

Back down in the bar, in the empty kitchen, a mysterious hand, gloved in black leather, reaches behind the stove and opens the gas valve. This shadow then slips out the back door…

As Slowhand descends the outside staircase, she sees a somewhat familiar figure run down the dark alley. Could that be Haissan the Innovator? Intrigued, she follows him…

Inside the bar, the two enemy groups, now slightly drunk, glare at each other across the room. They all know that the night will end in a fight. But just who will have whose back?

Suddenly, the smell of rotten eggs permeates the air. Sniffing, the two groups point at each other and make crude jokes. As tempers flare, the door opens once again…

Enter Roy Mustang. Now out of the military, he has become a private eye. His current case is causing him to meet with one of his informants. He chose this location to kill two birds with one stone. Once his business has concluded, he plans to go upstairs to visit his honey. As he contemplates the delicious hotness that is The Slowhand, he fails to notice the current situation. Seeing his contact, the Flame Alchemist steps forward, snapping his fingers to light his cigarette…

Slowhand, a few blocks away, has lost her prey. Hearing a tremendous explosion, she turns. As flames shoot into the air, she realizes that it is very near to her bar. Running back, an image of Roy pops into her mind. Now, where did that come from? As Slowhand gets closer, she sees that it is her bar that is on fire. Another image of Roy comes to her. Could it be?

Ignoring her own safety, Slowhand runs into the destroyed bar. Searching through the smoke, she hears the moans of the injured. Then she sees him. Her Roy! As she drags him outside, he is unmoving. Is he dead? Cradling his head in her lap, she screams her rage to the heavens. With tears running down her cheeks, she gathers him to her and begins to rock, sobbing out her grief. She does not see the slight movement of his index finger…

As others help the hurt men outside to safety, sirens sound in the distance. Who will live and who will die? Will the survivors put aside their differences and join together to fight a common enemy known as the Innovators? And what about…

Tune in next time!

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I lol’ed :smiley: Wicca sure likes writing :slight_smile:

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A smoldering dart juts from the center of a dangling poster tacked to an electric pole. “Lost Fox” the bleary print reads, coupled with an out of focus picture too indecipherable for any would be reward collector. The front of the building is alight with red and blue, but the alleyway is clothed in darkness. The clink of glass is heard as a bottle rolls, knocked aside by a foraging rat. The rat’s eyes wink in and out with the reflection of the lights, pulsating. With a sudden squeal, the rat disappears between flashes. The alley seems to grow darker, deeper. A low chuckle emits from the blackness.

“Perfect…”

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[quote=ZakuAce]
I lol’ed :smiley: Wicca sure likes writing :)[/quote]

Yes, terrible things can happen when I’m bored!
:lol:

But it’s all out of my system now!

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I can’t wait to hear what Slow thinks. ^____________________^

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Neither can I. I am biting my nails!

Maybe I should just start running…

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Wow, I’m mean…I am scared too, Slow might have at me…

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Well, it is a soap opera. She just bring him back to life in a few episodes, and pretend the death never happend :wink:

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But Roy isn’t dead! Or is he? (dramatic music)

Well, he did move his finger…

:wink:

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Very true. Though it could just be involuntary muscle spasms. But this is anime also, so he could come back as a zombie warrior trying to earn his way into heaven by collecting souls of the wicked. :slight_smile:

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In that case, we should all run…
:silly:
I like my soul just where it is, thank you very much.

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Hours later, Rai is walking home. He is cradling his left, and is obviously hurt from the altercation earlier that night. He is extremely nervous and is constantly shifting his head from side to side, looking for some unseen enemy. A familiar song flows from his pocket. “Bananas In Pajamas” brings a slight smile to his face, despite his current situation.

He quickly pulls the phone out and looks at his caller ID. It’s Dragoon calling. He sighs a bit, and then flips open the phone.

“Dragoon, what do you want?” he says bluntly.
“I was just checking to make sure you were okay,” Dragoon replies. “You don’t need to be so hostile.”

“I don’t need to be hostile?” Rai’s voice continues to rise. "I DON"T NEED TO BE HOSTILE. Did you see what happened back there? Roy is f**king dead. Roy! And Slowhand was there. Do you know what that means?

“Don’t worry Rai. I’m sure she didn’t see us. She got there after the explosion. She probably has no idea what happened. Besides Roy may not even be dead. I’m sure everything will be okay.”

Rai takes a deep breath and talks through his teeth. “He was dead. Dead, you got that? I saw him. And even if Slow didn’t see us, I’m sure she’ll figure it out eventually. And she’ll be coming for us, you know it. We should just turn ourselves in now.”

Dragoon laughs. “And what would that solve? Do you think a prison is going to stop Slow. If she wants to kill us, no force on this Earth is going to stop her. I say we just sit still and ride this out.”

“I can’t do that. We just killed someone. It was an accident, so we may get off a bit easier. Besides, a prison has to be at least safer then what we are now.”

Rai stops for second. He hears rustling coming from the bushes next to him.

“Rai, are you alright?” Dragoon asks. After a few seconds of nothing, he asks again. “Rai, are you there?”

He finally gets a reply. “Yeah, I’m here. I just thought I heard some…”

Rai stops mid sentence, as he sees a long tentacle start to come out from the bushes. He turns around and tries to run, dropping his cell phone. But it’s too late. Another tentacle was already behind him. It reaches out and grabs Rai, and drags him into the bushes.

“Rai, what’s wrong? Rai?” There is no response. Dragoon only hears a loud as Rai is knocked onto the floor, and a scraping noise as he is dragged away. The last thing he hears of Rai, is a terrified scream, following by what sounded like clothes tearing and some strange squishing noise. The screams wouldn’t stop for 10 minutes.

The line is silent for a few seconds and Dragoon listens in terror. Then comes a familiar voice on the other end.

“Hello Goon. I figured you would have hung up by now. Enjoying the show?”

Dragoon’s jaw nearly hits the floor. “Slow, what have you done?”

“Oh it’s not what I’ve done. It’s what one of my… friskier friends has done.”

Dragoon stutters. “It was an accident, you didn’t need to kill him. Please Slow, we can stop this now, before it gets even more out of hand.”

“You think I killed him?” Slow laughs deeply. “Idiot. That would be too easy. I did something much, much worse.”

“Slow, please. Can’t we just talk this out. We can figure something out.”

“It’s too late for that Goon. You’ve crossed the wrong woman this time. You and all your friends are going to pay, slowly and painfully.”

Dragoon tries to muster some courage. “We’re not afraid of you. We outnumber you. If we stick together, you won’t be able to touch us.”

Slow laughs louder this time. “Oh really. You may have me outnumbered, but I’ve got powers you’ve never seen before. And besides, I’ve got a friend I can call on. And just wait till he hears what happened tonight…” She closes the phone.

Dragoon knows exactly who she means. A cold shiver runs down his spine.

Slow smiles devilishly and begins dialing another number.

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Wicca looks up from the bed and sees Cody walk in wearing a black silk robe. A small trickle of blood is running from the corner of this mouth.

“Good morning,” he says. “I trust you slept well?”

Wicca is still very wobbly from the tequila. She now notices that Cody is carrying a tray that holds several glasses of a red liquid.

Sensing she is beginning to think the worst, Cody laughs and hands her a glass. “A little hair of the dog? It’s just a bloody mary, don’t worry about it. You’ve been drinking tequila for three days straight now, so I figured we should bring you down slowly. Unfortunately for Himeno, I am out of moon pies at the moment. But I sent Eric to grab some more.”

“Oh.” Wicca takes the glass. She takes a small sip, grimaces, and shakes her head a bit. “Wait a second, isn’t it daytime outside. How is Eric…”

Before she can finish, “You mean the whole “bursting into flames when we enter sunlight” thing? Pfft… that’s just an old cliche. And besides, it’s mostly just for show. When you’re out amongst the common folk, you have to show them a little flair.”

Himeno begins to wake up. "Bill, " she sighs softly. Cody laughs a bit, as she realizes she is not alone. Himeno looks around nervously. Cody and Wicca both have a laugh when she realizes she has no pants. Himeno quickly tries to cover herself up, which makes Cody laugh even louder. She blushes uncontrollably.

“So, I’ll be the first to ask this,” started Wicca as she took another sip of her drink. “What the hell happened last night, and how did we get here?”

“Last night?” Cody laughs again. “Well, a gentleman never talks aloud about such things, but let’s just say a good time was had by all.” He winks at them both. Himeno’s blushing becomes even more apparent.

“I just have one question,” starts Himeno. “And that’s WHERE THE HELL ARE MY PANTS?”

Cody chuckles a bit and points upward. Wicca and Himeno both stretch their necks and glance upwards. Dangling from the silver chandelier, 7 feet above their heads, hangs a pair of blue jeans and some petite pink and rainbow striped pony panties. Himeno hangs her head in shame as her blushing rages out of control. Her face is now nearly as red as a tomato. Wicca finds not only the whole situation funny, but can’t help from laughing at Pretear’s frilly panties.

Before anymore words are spoken, Cody’s cell phone begins to ring. He looks down, sees a familiar number and quickly answers.

“Hey Rai. How’s the tentacle rape business treating you?”

Cody looks surprised. “Oh, that’s how its treating you. Slow, what did you do?”

The two girls can only hear a faint mumbling on the other end of the phone, as Cody patiently listens to the long story Slow is telling. Towards the end, his face turns ashen and his jaw sags. Both Himeno and WIcca become concerned, but don’t wish to interrupt his conversation.

There is along pause with no sound on either end of the line. Cody quickly shakes his head, trying to absorb everything Slow has told him. He just needs a split second to sort it all, before he answers her.

“Yeah, I know exactly where Haissan is. He’s always there this time of day.”

A few more mumbles from the other end. “Yeah, he definitely should be our next target.”

More mumbles. “No, I have something much better in mind. Let me get everything set up. I will give you a call back when everything is a go.”

A longer set of mumbles. “Alright, it’s agreed then. I will work on everything tonight, and then we will meet in the morning at Denny’s for waffles and bacon.”

Cody nods his head as he hears the last set of instructions. “Okay. Be careful. And Slow, don’t worry, we’ll avenge him.” He presses the end button.

Cody starts breathing deeply and rapidly. Wicca climbs out of the bed, she places a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you alright? What happened?” she asks. He just continues to breath faster and deeper. Both girls worry he may hyperventilate.

After a few seconds, it becomes apparent that he was simply trying to compose himself. He abruptly takes one last breath and holds it for several seconds before exhaling. He looks at Himeno and Wicca. His eyes are glowing bright red, in a way the neither of them had ever them.

“Get dressed,” he says. “We have some work to do.”

“But what happened?” asks Himeno innocently.

He takes another deep breath and looks her deeply in the eyes. “We’re at war!”

(A loud crescendo of music blares as the screen turns black and the credits begin to roll.)

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R-really? -eye twitches-

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In my defense, I just worked with what Wicca left me.

Were the panties on the chandelier too much? :stuck_out_tongue:

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Why did there have to be panties at all?

Also, R.I.P. Rai’s secondary virginity.

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