The Outlander Memorial Thread

The Outlands
2128

http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/7858/pantystocking0102.jpg

How To Make Women Happy…
The Point System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It’s her pet (-10)

Social Engagements At a Party:
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-800)

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)

The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35)
Any other response (-20)

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2129

[quote=outlander]
http://img691.imageshack.us/img691/7858/pantystocking0102.jpg

How To Make Women Happy…
The Point System

Simple Duties:
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)[/quote]

Panty,
What if you double tap it with a Sig Sauer P239 in .357 Sig?

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2130

[quote=Newshawk]

[quote=outlander]
Simple Duties:
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)[/quote]

Panty,
What if you double tap it with a Sig Sauer P239 in .357 Sig?[/quote]

(-20)

Doesn’t clean up bloodly mess (-50)

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2131

[quote=outlander]
[quote=Newshawk

[quote=outlander]
Simple Duties:
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)[/quote]

Panty,
What if you double tap it with a Sig Sauer P239 in .357 Sig?[/quote]

(-20)

Doesn’t clean up bloodly mess (-50)[/quote]

How about if I you use a silencer?

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2133

…mmm Panty’s.

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2134

[quote=outlander]

dude…awesome, did anyone catch the current rock easter eggs…you can see gorillaz in the one where panty gets hit in the crotch with a ball, she was dressed as 2d…stocking as murdoc and garter as russel with the dog as noodle

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2135

Still my favorite song (& video) from that show! :slight_smile:

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2136

Do Panty’s come in pairs?

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2137

[quote=fillet]
Do Panty’s come in pairs?[/quote]

http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/9376/pantyxyz.jpg

I’m the one and only, so you must share.

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2138

And she does seem to share a lot! :laugh: :stuck_out_tongue: :silly: :blink:

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2139

Could Panty be construed as half of a pair of underwear?

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2140

What will Panty be doing for Memorial Day? Any barbecues?

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2141

http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/4907/2011panty.png

More observations by me, Panty

The Differences Between Men and Women

Relationships:First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as “that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis”. When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Men Are Idiots”. Then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, “I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know there’s always a chance for us”. This is known as the “I Hate You/I Love You” drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.

**Sex:**Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

**Hats:**Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.

**Comedy:**Let’s say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television, and an episode of “The Three Stooges” comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man’s favorite stooge. The women will roll their eys and groan and wait it out.

**Handwriting:**To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their “i’s” with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their “p’s” and “g’s”. It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

**Bathrooms:**A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

**Magazines:**Men’s magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women’s magazine also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.

**Movies:**For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in “Gone With The Wind”. For men, it’s when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark’s face in “Public Enemy”.

**Menopause:**When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual. Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction–he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.

**The Telephone:**Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

More later. Remember girls, if you have a question about Men, ask me

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Ah, Panty. Testify sister. Why must men be so hard to understand, while us women are complete open books?

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[quote=Froggy]
Ah, Panty. Testify sister. Why must men be so hard to understand, while us women are complete open books?[/quote]

Hey, I’ve offered my translation services to you before. As someone who has dated both, I can testify that men are much actually much simpler then women. You feed em or f**k em and they’re happy.

Also I’m really digging the Ai Yori Aoshi set. Nice Froggy!

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[quote=dragonrider_cody]

[quote=Froggy]
Ah, Panty. Testify sister. Why must men be so hard to understand, while us women are complete open books?[/quote]

Hey, I’ve offered my translation services to you before. As someone who has dated both, I can testify that men are much actually much simpler then women. You feed em or f**k em and they’re happy.

Also I’m really digging the Ai Yori Aoshi set. Nice Froggy![/quote]

Thanks Cody! And you know I value your counsel as much as I value Pantys.

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2146

I, Panty, will dance for you, along with some TAN-ettes. Can you name the Tan-ettes?

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2147

Let’s see -

The redhead in the back is Slowhand and in front of her is Froggy. On the right side, it’s MrsRish in the back and me with the sunglasses. Am I right? What do I win?

And only you would find such a video!

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2148

[quote=LadyOfWicca]
Am I right? What do I win?[/quote]

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