Ok, so it’s not actually an anime, but it very well could be!
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I love metal gear…
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[size=16]Samurai Lawyer[/size]
[quote=“outlander, post:1, topic:2006, full:true”]
A very short story[/quote]
Originally posted: April 11, 2010 @ 8:19pm
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The hand holds an Uzi in front of her.
VOICE: Did you use this gun to kill your spouse?
Sue pulls out a bloody knife.
SUE: No, I just used this knife.
Pull back to reveal that this is a courtroom. The VOICE has actually been a LAWYER. A JUDGE is also present. The LAWYER is excited about SUE’s revelation
LAWYER: You did, eh? Ha! We’ve wheedled it out of you! At last you have admitted your guilt, there will be no mercy for you!
JUDGE: Mr. Bartlet, you are aware that you’re supposed to be council for the defence, aren’t you?
The LAWYER is taken aback by this.
LAWYER (to SUE): Knife.
SUE hands LAWYER the knife. The LAWYER stabs himself with it and falls forward. Cut to a close-up of a REPORTER on a news set.
REPORTER: Yes, the Samurai Lawyers continue to be a growing presence in our legal system. But what will their long term effects be? Similar, but not related, are the Kabuki Lawyers.
Quick clip of a courtroom. A few lawyers, dressed as Kabuki actors, move accompanied by drums and speak Japanese.
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Sequel sequel!
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coming soon…
Kabuki Lawyers and White collar crime
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Time now for…
Kabuki Lawyers
The scene is a Federal courtroom, PAN to the Judge, who turns to the finely dressed defendant.
Judge: “Mr. Richass, The district attorney has just given powerful evidence accusing you of embezzling Millions from you investors. Do you have a defense?”
“Yes, your honor. I am represented by the firm Baka,Yomahona, and Baka”
Cue to a man dressed in a traditional Japanese Kimono, wearing a mask of a make-up clad lady leaps onto the floor. He begins his ritual song.
Through the use of Kabuki interpretative dance, he pantomimes complex accounting principals. The jury is confused but moved by the centuries-old fluid movements and highly stylized musical Haikus.
The entire courtroom is filled with the rhythmic chants of the chorus detailing the defendant’s purity, noble birth and his undying love of the emperor. In his ending argument the judge is overcome by the crescendo of large wooden kettle drums, beaten by sweat-drenched men in loincloths accompanied by lyrical bamboo flutes and shamisens. The attorney, with the use of bunraku puppets, demonstrates how his client was betrayed by his peasant underlings.
The jury, moved to tears by this simple, elegant centuries old art, Frees the client
Another victory for…KABUKI LAWYERS!!!
CUE GONG
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Wonderful!! Bravo!!
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10/10, WOULD READ AGAIN
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coming soon…
Origami surgeon and the liver transplant
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wow…
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Origami Surgeon
The scene is an operating theater in a great university teaching hospital. PAN DOWN to the operating table, where the famous surgeon, surrounded by his staff of attendants, demonstrates a liver transplant to the interns in the gallery above him.
He deftly removes the diseased organ from the body of the patient, carefully he reaches into the ice chest and removes the precious, healthy replacement.
He hesitates.
What’s wrong, doctor?”
“This organ, It performs such a noble service, removing the toxins from this body, but look at it, a shapeless blob. It deserves a more fitting appearance”
The famous doctor begins to fold the liver into a series of forms.
“Dear God! What are you doing to that Liver?!”
“I am transforming this liver into a shape worthy of its function”
With a series of deft cuts and delicate folding, the surgeon holds up the new shape to the onlookers
“Behold! This liver now has a shape of a crane!”
A startled gasp from the first year medical students, Intern Hentai exclaimed “How beautiful!”
Applause broke out in the operating theater as the doctor inserted the transformed liver into place.
The Head Nurse cried out “The liver is leaking and failing! The patient will die!”
The surgeon breathlessly said” How magnificent that the patient is willing to die for art”
“But He’s under sedation”
"He will never know the art he has left behind for us. That is his legacy”
“We shall make him beautiful in death .Who wants me to turn his lungs into a butterfly and his spleen into a fish?”
Hentai and the other inters excitedly raised their hands…
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yeah thats you
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Amazing!!
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[size=16]If I were in charge[/size]
Originally posted: May 1, 2010 @ 7:54pm
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Action Zone: Self-explanatory
Super Happy Funtime: Comedy
Girl Power: featuring The Fair Sex
Old Skool: Oldies but goodies
One-hit Wonders : Short series or good anime that died too young
Anime at the movies : Theatric releases
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Action Zone: Outlaw Star, NGE, Cowboy Bebop, Area 88, Black Lagoon
Super Happy Funtime: Lucky Star, Cromartie High School, FLCL, Excel Saga, Dragon Half
Girl Power: Oh My Goddess, Love Hina, Ai Yori Aoshi, Azumanga Daioh
Old Skool: Irresponsible Captain Taylor, Tenchi Muyo, Gundum, Chobits, Cutey Honey
One Hit Wonders: Birdy the Mighty, Armitage, Ayane’s High Kick, Blue Submarine No. 6, Gunsmith Cats, Photon, Ruin Explorers
Anime at the movies: Akria, Princess Mononoke, Wings of Homenese, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Ghost in the Shell
opinions welcome, or try your hand at being program director
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Um, that wouldn’t work at all, as half the titles you list aren’t even Section 23/Sentai/Nozomi titles. TAN exists for a reason, just as the Funi channel does too-and it’s not to promote the competition!
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[quote=Newshawk]
Um, that wouldn’t work at all, as half the titles you list aren’t even Section 23/Sentai/Nozomi titles. TAN exists for a reason, just as the Funi channel does too-and it’s not to promote the competition![/quote]
Oh! I realize that. This is just fantasy programing
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[quote=outlander]
[quote=Newshawk]
Um, that wouldn’t work at all, as half the titles you list aren’t even Section 23/Sentai/Nozomi titles. TAN exists for a reason, just as the Funi channel does too-and it’s not to promote the competition![/quote]
Oh! I realize that. This is just fantasy programing[/quote]
So then were is all the hentai?
Can’t be a fantasy without the naughty. 
:blink: :woohoo:
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