Ironically I got a license as an ordained priest with this one order I got from Amazon, I think it was a mistake since the name on the certificate was Cantelu
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[quote=Haissan]
Ironically I got a license as an ordained priest with this one order I got from Amazon, I think it was a mistake since the name on the certificate was Cantelu[/quote]
Or maybe they sensed your holiness on some cosmic type level. :blink:
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Once we cure Hentai, I, The Anime Psychologist, was going to look into Haissanās Holy-than-thou complex,but as he has a licience to be holy, i guess itās ok
Is a lobotomy the only cure for our Maine patient? shock therapy could work
ā¦or maybe drugs
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[quote=outlander]
Once we cure Hentai, I, The Anime Psychologist, was going to look into Haissanās Holy-than-thou complex, but as he has a license to be holy, i guess itās ok
Is a lobotomy the only cure for our Maine patient? shock therapy could work
ā¦or maybe drugs[/quote]
Iād rather have a bottle in front of me, then a frontal lobotomy.
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Well if you donāt want the drugsā¦ GIVE IT THE HAMMER!!! We could pelt him with wilted lettuce too.
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I got itā¦hentaiā¦stop itā¦
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[quote=fillet]
Well if you donāt want the drugsā¦ GIVE IT THE HAMMER!!! We could pelt him with wilted lettuce too.[/quote]
It could be risky if Hentai has Lachanophobia, which is the fear of vegetables.
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We could go with a purely fruit concoction. Pineapples and the like.
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[size=16]Outlanderās Room of Retarded Tales[/size]
[quote=Outlander]
These stories are mercifully short. If you have one, Post it
Originally posted: August 27, 2010 @ 10:11am
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You mean make up a random story? lol.
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Reiās Beauty Tips, Or Why I like Orange Tang
Why hello there, my name is Rei. You know me. Iām that enigmatic, cute, EVA pilot that all otaku man-childs fantasize over. I first appeared in the mid 1990ās so Iām about 32 years old now. How do I keep my youthful, semi-loli looks? Let me give you my beauty secrets.
I find I keep my skin fresh and smooth if I pickle myself in a giant vat of orange Tang. I not only find it keeps my skin moist, but I also absorb vitamin c and other refreshing fat-free ingredients. Astronauts swear by it and so do all of my clones.
Asuka thought you could do the same with Mountain Dew, and she took in all that caffeine and look what happened to her, turned her into a manic Tusundre bitch.
It also helps to wrap yourself completely in hospital bandages like a mummy. While you are doing this also consider having Oil of Olay injected intravenously into you bloodstream.
Avoid emotions if you can. Things like crying, smiling and such creates stress and makes wrinkles in the face.
I canāt say enough about plugsuits, They are so tight that you canāt eat anything. It really keeps the weight in check.
Well, thatās it for now, more later
Regards,
Rei
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Dang, and I was going to try soaking in a tub of Sugar-Free Rockstarā¦ I guess Iāll have to stick with just imbibing it. Thanks, Asuka, for pioneering ahead in the area of caffeine-absorption so that the rest of us could dodge the proverbial N2 mine.
If only they made apple-cinnamon Tang- Iād soak in that all fall and be a young looking, humanoid Glade air freshener.
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coming soon:
Married to a Magical Girl
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Very funny outlander. :laugh:
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Married to a Magical Girl
I have to move to Japan soon. Itās not like I want to, but that is where almost all Magical Girls reside and I married a Magical Girl. You would think this is a wonderful thing. But I have a shock for you.
Having a Magical girl as a wife or girlfriend is a pain.
I tried to make a go of it here, but in Ohio, well, they just arenāt ready for this sort of mayhem. As you know, Magical Girls are either from the sprit world or from another galaxy, here to protect mankind from evil. Apparently, fixing the potholes on my street is below them.
In order to fight evil properly they must transform themselves, to gain their special power and acquire theirā¦uhā¦uniform. They usually do this by performing a geeky dance routine and in an eruption of sparkles they shed their earth clothes and become temporally naked and the magical outfit comes out of nowhere to cover them; all this is done in midair.
Now this is all well and good if it is in the privacy of your home. Heck, it is even enjoyable to watch (those schoolgirl or sailor suits can be sexy). But all too often evil raises itās its head in public. For her to go through this routine as we are in line at the grocery checkout is ā¦wellā¦ Embarrassing. Weāve been banned from Wal-Mart. Did you know this transformation takes a lot of energy? When this happened at Best Buy, it blew the circuits of all the electronics. I owe them 257,000 dollars in damaged goods.
Once during a contest between good and evil at my home resulted in a power blast from an evil wizard went astray and blew up my neighborās deck and his new Lexus, Most insurance policies donāt cover destruction by black magic power blasts. He moved away.
All magical Girls are accompanied by a sidekick to give sage advice and guidance, they can be little fairies, sprites, globs of who-knows-what, or an animal. My Magical Girlās advisor is a talking cat.Iām not impressed. For a being with wise advice for my Girl, you would think it would have house-trained itself. There is nothing magical about Cat poop. Also, its cosmic feelings led it to invest all of my money in Bernie Madoffās investment fund. Thank you, O great magical sage.
Once in a while magic has its uses. One day I had to drive downtown and parking is terrible. I āborrowed the magic wand and went to my destination, I waved it at all the parked cars. They all were transported to Venus. Very convenientā¦for a while. I too had to go through the transformation process. Try to explain to the Authorities why you are wearing a girlās sailor suit. When My Magical girl came and got me, she admonished me likeā You should not use good magic for base things, only goodā. Yeah, well, the cops pretty much told me the same thing.
So weāre off to Japan where this is more common. Iāll send postcards.
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I wondered why I had to sign a 500 page legal disclaimer to join the magical girl dating site, now I know.
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āā¦damaged goods.ā :laugh:
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Coming soon:
Black Lagoonās
āRevyās Advice to the Lovelornā
āDutchās Business Ethicsā
and
āRockās Career Change Forumā
Also
āShadycat and the Samurai Hair Stylistā
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Can I write a retarded tale also? I donāt want to post things if you donāt want me to. . .
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Please do contribute. I look forward to it
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