To answer you my dear Lady, BTW I hope you don’t mind me using that title for you… Anyway, Miquel is plotting who he shall stalk next. He’s asking himself how can he stalk his new favorite person and find a way to take over the world at the same time!
I know this to be true! My psychic powers never lie… MUHAHAHAHAHA! *Sigh… I’m having way too much fun with this joke still.
:laugh:
And here I thought all this time that you were the stalker, plotting your next move! :evil:
Well, that was part of his plan that it looks like you fell into believing. Outlander isn’t the only dastardly fox out there now… LOL! :laugh:
I can see that I shall have to be more careful in the future! :lol:
How do you know I don’t have you brain washed already?
*Gulp… he’s right. :unsure: Wait, I can feel something creeping into my mind! NO… the darkness! It’s taking over… and it’s so cold!
I fear the only one that can stop Miquel now is the dark and powerful Outlander! Time to fight fire with fire… save us Outlander!
:laugh:
Wait, dark? Damnit, I did something wrong, it should be red.
Nice… I understand it is very hard to control all that power. There will always be tomorrow to take over the world I guess!
Pretear and Kansas: In the Land of Wheat and Swine
Howdy, City-folk. Pretear here. I wanted to enlighten you on the joys of living in Kansas. This would be a great time to visit my state. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow… A word about driving in Kansas. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the highway.
There is a highway with 318 miles and 11 curves. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We’re real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we only use two weeks a year.
Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.
Now we do like our wheat fields and hogs. I’m also fond of Shak. Shak is nothing like a pig
Pigs have big snouts and have no table manners… wait… That’s Shaq
Pigs smell funny…Damn… Shaq again
Well, pigs lie around and sleep most of the time and make occasional grunting noises…Oh…wait… Shit!
You failed geography because you thought Peru, Havana, Manhattan, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, and Cuba were only cities in Kansas. But we do have practical knowledge.
You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn, while still on the stalk. You know which leaves make good toilet paper, but you were unaware that there is a legal drinking age. That’s right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for a shot. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals and see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You think of the major food groups as beer, beef, beans and Jell-O salad.
You think people who complain about the wind and weather in their states are SISSIES!
You think sexy lingerie is white tube socks and a flannel shirt.
Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, KSN Networks is planning to do it’s own show entitled: “Survivor, Kansas Style”.
The contestants will start in Wichita, travel west to Pratt, Garden City and up to Colby. From there they will head over to Hays, down to Great Bend, up through Salina and then on to Concordia. They will then proceed to Marysville down to Topeka, then south to Fort Scott and Pittsburgh west through Independence, Arkansas City, Wellington and back up to Wichita.
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a New Jersey license plate and large bumper stickers that read “I’m a Vegetarian”, “NASCAR Sucks”, “Go Duke”, Copenhagen is for Idiots", “Hillary in 2008”, “Deer Hunting is Murder”, “Say No to Budweiser”, and “I’m here to Confiscate Your Guns”.
The first one who makes it back to Wichita alive wins.
So, Welcome to Kansas. Any references to “corn fed” when talking about our women will get your butt kicked…by our women.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Love it outlander!!!
:laugh: :laugh: Sounds just like our lovebirds
Lost in the wilderness of Kansas!
Also, I think the survival game is more like “Running Man” than “Survivor”!
(Where did you find that pic?)
[quote=outlander]
Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a New Jersey license plate and large bumper stickers that read “I’m a Vegetarian”, “NASCAR Sucks”, “Go Duke”, Copenhagen is for Idiots", “Hillary in 2008”, “Deer Hunting is Murder”, “Say No to Budweiser”, and “I’m here to Confiscate Your Guns”.[/quote]
rolling around laughing…
Now that is just classic and is so very true! You couldn’t even just give me the winning grand prize money to finish that course driving in that vehicle… LOL!
As you may remember, I was swept out to sea by recent storms and ended up on a beach in the South Seas. The primitive peoples who inhabit the island thought I was a gift from the sea, worship me as a goddess and made me their queen.
They have given me many names, Your Highness, Divine one, and Kiribat Rotuma Tuvalu, which in their language means “She with the Big Coconuts”.
As queen, I have brought them a Starbucks and WIFI and have made them happy albeit confused. The tribe’s name is the Moe-Moe.They have large misshapen heads and giant eyes. They sometimes do battle with the tribe on the neighboring island, The Rai, a particular evil, unwashed group of miscreants
I have become well versed in the spear and bow and arrow, so Snowy should show me more respect the next time we meet. The weather is hot and balmy so I have adopted the island clothing (see above) no matching shoes though.
I invite you all to my kingdom. Be sure beforehand to practice your Genuflecting. You shall be honored guests. We will feast on roast pig, fish and fruit, but I will not share my coconuts with anyone. Crabs for everyone!
The local tribe still practices a little cannibalism from time to time. They did mention one called Goldenboy, said he “tasted like chicken” and “went well with potatoes”. Well… Now we know…
So visit and worship me soon
More letters from me later, written on palm leaves. as Queen,I give you leave to ask any question
Oh no!
Goldenboy… RIP.
Well, Mr. Outlander, my dear sir, you do me honor with a second tale about my island. The next time you visit, you will not have to kneel to me or worship me, but I do expect much tribute!
We will feast and you may have crabs in abundance, but you still shall not partake of my coconuts. Please remember you almost lost a hand - and a foot - the last time.
And when you visit, please bring that darling Lumis with you. He left so fast the last time, he forgot his grass skirt. Can I help it if my subjects took offense when he made a dive for my coconuts? Please tell him that my subjects were joking when they threatened to eat him. At least I think they were.
Anyway, please come and visit us again and I shall do the dance of welcome for you!
I’m so sorry my dear lady… it was such a long flight & boat ride that I found your coconuts simply irresistible at first sight! :silly: It was a mistake that I definitely learned from. I was very surprised to escape with all myself intact minus the grass skirt! Without it, it was very awkward trying to find my way back. Next time, hands off your coconuts… got it!
:laugh:
We shall see. One does not always learn from their mistakes…
Hmmm… you don’t sound convinced. *Gulp… I better keep my head down then. :unsure:
However, when one is threatened with being eaten while being chased by angry islanders… I would have to say that a lesson was well learned!
:woohoo:
[size=16]Forest: MOE LIKE ME[/size]
Forest here. As you may have guessed, I am the most moe tan-ette. How did I reach this level of Moe-ness? Part of it natural, but some you have to work on. Not to worry. I will teach you. Well, anyway, today I’m going to share with you 5 kinds of Moe
1. Sweet Lovely Moe
Guys can never resist sweet and gentle girls! So you can try some of these tips!
• Gently tug the back of his shirt when you want his attention. When he turns, make sure your head is slightly pointed downwards, and look up at him with your eyes, and maybe with a gentle pout. Note that a overdone pout looks fake, so be careful.
• Wear clothes that will give off a girly feeling. For example, dresses with lace and ribbons; furry clothes that make you look like a small animal, tops and dresses that look soft. Good material is more important than colour.
• Let him know you are cold. You can shiver slightly. Or say “cold”, and put your hands into his coat pockets. ( WOW! WIN!)
• Wear oversized knitted cardigans and reveal only your fingers. You will look super cute and the guy will feel like loving and protecting you. ( I don’t know about guys but I think girls who wear in such a manner are really super cute to me! )
• Use coquettish words when talking to him.
• Really enjoy eating chocolate in front of him. It is cute to see a girl enjoy her sweets. (Haha!)
2. “Silly and clumsy” Moe
Girls who are clumsy will win the heart of a guy. The guy will feel manly beside you.
• Act like you cannot walk properly, that any floor surface is your ultimate weakness. Always fall and trip. The guy will feel like protecting you. (Oh really??!!! Wouldn’t he think you’re an idiot? )
• Sit in a high area swinging your legs and look up at the sky or something with a soft, sweet smile on your face and a faraway look in your eyes. The ideal image is to look like you are thinking or dreaming about something. This will make you look like a dreamy schoolgirl.
• When you realise a mistake you have made, stick out your tongue. You can also cock your head to one side and touch your head at the same time in embarrassment.
• When you receive something from him, be really happy and jump in happiness like a child, and keep saying, “I’m so happy!!!”
• When you’re eating ice-cream, consume it with small, tiny licks. This is definitely Moe.
• Don’t be afraid to be naturally silly. For example, you can act like you are a very strange or weird person. Tell him weird stories of aliens and strange creatures so that he will have a strong impression of you. (Haruhi Suzumiya appears in my head for some reason.) Another example, you can pretend you don’t know what he’s talking about at all. A higher level is to pretend you know what he’s talking about, as in, you nod your head looking like you understand, but you have to look like you actually don’t understand but you are trying your best. You can also say certain words wrongly to make him think that you are adorably dumb.
3. Natural Moe
Usually a guy cannot resist this kind of natural Moe.
• When guys see rare and natural expressions in girls, it is a very strong attraction point. For example, you can shut your eyes, give a small yawn and say, ねむい～” (nemui = sleepy). You can also follow up by leaning your head gently on his shoulder.
• Put on lip gloss to let your lips look very kissable. “
• Blink very slowly when looking at him. Your eyes will look watery to him.
• Look at him from afar. When he catches you staring, quickly look away. Now you got his attention.
• Wear V-necked oversized knitted tops or dresses to create a casual and warm look.
• Use both hands to eat a bread/ burger or drink soup/ water, just like an adorable hamster!
• Carry your bag in your hands with both hands and say, “重い～” (omoi = heavy) He will help you carry your bag. (From my humble experiences in life thus far, this doesn’t work with all guys. Haha!!!)
4. Pure, girly Moe
These tips are actually very easy to do and are the most natural. If you are a shy and introvert girl, you can start with these. No guys will hate pure and feminine girls!
• Even if his jokes are not funny, show an appreciative expression, or at least a slight smile. In other words, don’t roll your eyes and frown and say, “Lame/ Okaaaay,” to his face. Don’t hurt the poor guy’s ego. At least he’s trying!
• Learn to be a good listener. Don’t hesitate to praise him if he says or does anything that is praise-worthy. (Actually, I think this works both ways! ^^ Girls like to be praised too, I think! Everyone likes it! Even your pet dog! Seeing good things in people is a way of life!!!)
• Smile often. Even when you’re talking, have a happy expression on your face. Many of the girls who shared these tips said that their boyfriends told them, “I fell for your smile and cheerful personality.” / “You’re always smiling. I could not help but fall for you.” / “I really love your smile.” (Oh! I cannot help but want to tell you how effective this is! This is also the easiest too, I think! It’s easy to smile and be happy when you’re with somebody you like, isn’t it? So smile often! Be happy! Bring joy to everyone around you. You can easily become popular. Also, I think this works both ways. I find myself attracted to guys who are always smiling and happy too.)
• Always do your best in everything. Girls can be very attractive when they’re serious and hardworking too.
• If you’re a usually cheerful and strong person, it’s okay to sometimes show that you’re ‘only human’ too. Meaning, it’s okay to show your weaknesses and be sad or cry sometimes too. But don’t use this too many times or it’ll become annoying. (I think this is true! When I was in secondary school, I used to have a classmate who was always very cheerful and nice. Everyone liked her. One day, she cried over something that hit her very badly. I forgot what it was. All the guys were so concerned over her!!! They asked around whether she was okay, and some even wrote her notes and bought her candy to cheer her up. Aww!)
5. “There are 2 sides of me” Moe
You look like you are easy-going, but you actually have your own very strong views; You look cold and unfeeling, but you actually have a soft heart. Showing the side of you that you don’t usually display to him might strongly attract him to you.
• If you wear contacts or have perfect eyesight, you can sometimes do a small image change by wearing a pair of glasses. And vice versa.
• When both of you are with a group of friends, you can behave normally. But when both of you are alone, you can show the supremely girly side of you, just for him!!! The difference will make him feel privileged.
• If you are always joking and playing with him normally, you can have a heart-to-heart serious talk together sometimes. He will have a different view of you.
• If you are usually silly and clumsy, but show that you can also be serious and do things well when you need to, this difference will definitely attract the guy’s attention.
• You can sing very cute songs complete with cute actions/poses with cute voice when you go to sing Karaoke together.
